[sticky entry] Sticky: weekends 2017

Jan. 2nd, 2017 04:47 pm
fandomonymous: Gray @ on black background (Default)
note to self: make sure Weekends 2017 doesn't just turn into "Donweekends" like most of 2016 did.

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fandomonymous: Gray @ on black background (Default)
I'm Kawa! Filipina-American ridiculous mostly-femme nerd, she/her pronouns please. Formerly [livejournal.com profile] fandomonymous, [livejournal.com profile] kawaiimae, once secretly [personal profile] mindcrack_love, rarely actively [twitter.com profile] kawaiidragoness, [instagram.com profile] kawaiidragoness, and [archiveofourown.org profile] fandomonymous (only relevant for Yuletide). I'm also kawatan on Reddit and Kawa#7680 on Discord.

If you knew fandomonymous, you're probably familiar with me as a soccer nerd. I care somewhat less about it now than I did in 2010-2012, but I still keep up with Group Match-onwards Champions League. Still primarily a Bayern fan, still get emotionally sidetracked when people mention Philipp Lahm has retired, sigh forever. My feelings about Chelsea have become more mixed, though. If you knew kawaiimae, yeah, none of those fandoms are really relevant anymore, sorry. Except maybe Gundam, though my tastes have changed - I loved both IBO and the first season of Build Fighters! I'm a big Turbines fangirl, and Fellini is the beeeeeeeeest. I started building a few Gunpla in 2016, too.

In other fandoms, I care a lot about indie video games, mostly in the roguelike tradition. I ran IRDC 2016 and have appeared on Roguelike Radio a few times. I will probably never Let's Play/stream again, but I found it fun when I needed to have it in my life. Just to be contrary, I also regularly play Overwatch as a social activity with old friends, splitting my time between healing and tanking.

I'm currently in New York City. I work for a hospital system here, at the intersection of compliance/regulatory services and data science. I spend a lot of time walking around (no really, a lot) and eating the things that are easier to find in NY than elsewhere. If you knew me any time from 2006-2015, this may surprise you. It will definitely surprise you that I'm now openly polyamorous. (That relationship you half-remember me in ended in February 2015, and no, we never did marry.)

At the moment I am pretty polysaturated and trying to Make This Work As Best I Can. There's a PartnerBeast who has been in my life for over a year, as well as one female (Andy) and one decidedly agender (Kit) cutie. I have no desire to live with any of these people but I'd like to keep them in my life and deepen these relationships into something wonderful. Kit and the PartnerBeast have met once, but none of these folks know each other otherwise. I generally use neutral pronouns and terms when referring to the people I'm dating (partner, squeeze, cutie), but this is subject to change by their consent.

Three therapists have suggested I research the autism spectrum, so make of that what you will. I also have a touch of the anxiety and a history of depression, controlled through lifestyle changes and regular therapy. I non-ironically use a fidget spinner (currently a dupe of the old polished black Zentri). I have major food and pet allergies despite dating multiple cat owners. This all hamstrings my life in various ways (most notably the food allergy and the mental health stuff), but I'm balancing as best I can.

I generally post personal updates every month, keep vague track of what I do on my weekends, and read my dwcircle regularly. Sometimes I post more extensively about vaguely fandom things. I participate most Yuletides, however minimally. I don't talk politics much, but when I do it'll probably be about anticonsumerism, mental health awareness, and queer things.

I work hard to support organizations I believe in, and that includes Dreamwidth. I believe pretty deeply in Dreamwidth's mission, and I'm glad you're here. :)
fandomonymous: Gray @ on black background (Default)
Some things are already being semi solidified hahahahwhat.

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Sep. 1st, 2017 01:53 pm
fandomonymous: Gray @ on black background (Default)
so august happened.

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fandomonymous: Gray @ on black background (Default)

  • I got the fancy-hospital job! Supposedly I start the 26th. There's a whole bunch of background administatrivia, some of which I'm nervous won't make it in time, in which case I'd start on the 5th (after the holiday). A tiny anxious part of my brain is worried they'll just drop the whole offer, but that really shouldn't happen...right? right?
  • I interviewed for another job that would have been more emotionally/politically/whatever up my alley, but was further from home, probably would have paid less (but had benefits even better than my old job, i.e. HOT DAMN), and used skills I'm rustier at. Because it is also a city services job I probably will not know if I'm moving forward with it until well into the fancy-hospital job, so eh. But it does give me an idea of what skills I could work on improving if I somehow have the spoons. (I doubt I'll have the spoons, but the world is full of wonders.)
  • I've been using my time off to consume lots of neat cultural things from all over the place:

    • I read all of Carry On by Rainbow Rowell. I read Fangirl a few years ago and liked it, so I knew what to expect, and mostly got that. As is apparently standard for me now, I want more stories about side characters (in this case, Penelope). I enjoyed at least one message present in the ending that I should not spoil.
    • I played through Gone Home in one sitting. I can see both how it was considered wondrous/innovative as a storytelling game and perhaps a bit simplistic as a story. I am too jaded to unironically enjoy its ending, but that's okay. The use of cassettes to create a soundtrack was a little trite but also very, very clever, and it makes me really want to explore riot grrl as a genre. And yes, I want more stories about a side character (Janice, the mom.)
    • I read The Strange Library by Haruhi Murakami, also in one sitting. It's very classic Murakami short story, and the illustrations/weird book design were a neat though not entirely necessary touch. I think overall I prefer Murakami as a short story writer over a novelist, and maybe that's blasphemous, but eh.
    • I visited the Guggenheim. I...do not love most abstract painting, but I'm glad the Guggenheim is there. The mobiles, the Plexiglass sculptures by Gabo, and the handful of Magritte paintings were probably the highlight for me, as well as the current exhibit by Anicka Yi. Maybe because I was also Actually Tired, but navigating the constant sloped floor was weirdly tiring, too.
    • I convinced three people in my life to eat with their hands on a weeknight with me. If I had planned better it would have been more people, but that's okay. The food was immense and perfect, the staff were supremely kind, and my friends were lovely, and those are the things that matter.
    • The New York Philharmonic visited my super-local park. The New World Symphony might be turning into one of my favorite pieces of music in the "classical tradition". I was less prepared than I could have been in terms of snacks, and sadly I spent almost all of the West Side Story segment looking for a bathroom. (Note to self, way back behind the stage is a large comfort station that no one goes to...) There were fireworks after, shockingly close to me, which was magical and intense.

  • Kit has been sick, at the intersection of acute and chronic physical illness, and it's been rough. I feel helpless, but a different kind of helpless than dealing with chronic mental illness. They are well cared for by another partner, so I don't want to create a too-many-cooks situation, but also a part of me really wants to physically be there for them. They were supposed to come to Jeepney with me and the Philharmonic, but obviously couldn't. That clearly isn't their fault, and I understand, but the sadness of that has been hard to deal with.
  • The PartnerBeast continues to have hard times but also be a super wonderful human being and it's hard to complain about that. I'll be meeting their parents again this weekend, which is a little nerve wracking but should be interesting.
fandomonymous: Gray @ on black background (Default)
I got laid off. One of hundreds.

I'm very very very privileged that this is a setback, not devastating. I paid off my student loans last year. I still live with my parents, which is suddenly a good thing. They're going to keep me on for one more paycheck (two weeks), so I have health insurance for three.

I've already been interviewing, so I feel ahead of the game.

I have a fantastic support network, both in person and online. After I got my stuff home and changed out of work clothes, I went to one of my favorite restaurants* with Kit, who is quickly becoming one of my favorite people, and spent the day with them - introduced them to Economy Candy, helped them with an errand, and just spent time together. And then I went to another favorite** with the PartnerBeast, and we got ice cream instead of a second round of booze. And then I went to therapy, went home, and played Overwatch with even more great friends. I'm so grateful to these people and this city that this is all possible.

So yeah. We'll see what's next. Might move to more frequent updates now that I have more time with Internet that doesn't block Dreamwidth. Might not. We'll find out.

* Shopsin's isn't for everyone, and it's only open for breakfast and lunch. But I appreciate the moxie of what they're trying to do. Despite the ridiculously madcap menu everything I've had there has been outstanding, and the staff is really thoughtful in their own way.
** Maharlika is pricy and a bit out of the way for me, but their food is always outstanding, their cocktails are a delight, and the staff are super kind and chill and friendly. I don't have a real circle of fellow Filipino-Americans (other than my childhood friend Jess), but something about that staff and that menu makes it always feel like an idealized version of home.
fandomonymous: Gray @ on black background (Default)
Long story short, I didn't accomplish everything I set out to do, but circumstances will be what they are. I did discover a wonderful bisexual support group, more local board games, and someone local worth dating. I also spent at least some time with friends old and new, and solidified a plan for the next few months. Let's see how this goes.
fandomonymous: Gray @ on black background (Default)
Stuff to talk about here later:

  • My end-of-year retrospective is a thing; the summary is "all the shit I didn't get in 2016 I want to make for myself in 2017". It's a Google doc, let me know if you want the link.

  • I've been doing a lot in the last few weeks regarding self-improvement, finance, and health. I'm not sure if I want to talk about /all/ of these in a public space, but I'll need a place to talk about them when I have the energy and time.

  • In general I'm trying to be more thoughtful about what I am doing, and some of that I think will be doing a better job tracking what I've been doing and how I feel about it. [personal profile] kawatan, which I intended to be a blog companion to my Twitch work, will probably get a lot more use for slightly-less-personal thoughts - things like mini-thinkpieces on cultural consumption I'm doing and recipes, things that I could see others finding interesting or useful. This side will be more of these very personal lists and such.

  • There's probably more I'll realize is worth talking about later, but I'm a bit short on time right now.

fandomonymous: Gray @ on black background (Default)
Hi writer! You're the best in advance, you should know that.

Option details are optional in ALL OF THESE, OF COURSE, but some basic DNWs and preferences )

Okay. Onwards!

Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup, none/any )


Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron-Blooded Orphans, Amida Arca )


Garden of Forking Paths, Ts'ui Pen )


FiveThirty Eight, none/any )


Bayern Munich RPF, Philipp Lahm )
fandomonymous: Gray @ on black background (Default)
Health stuff (both mine and family members') sucks but could also suck worse, which I guess is comforting but that joyride was Unfun.

I went to that wedding, I saw my ex, I drank with other friends, I didn't die. Though good lord I have mixed feelings about my life in Florida I left behind! Chicago might be a city worth further exploration, though only in the summer. Hmm.

I'm uh. Kinda monogamous now? Ish? In a monogamous situation and not really feeling the effort to look for other partners? I might tell my parents about this one if only to make it easier to justify weekend trips?? WHAT EVEN??????????? But god it's kind of nice to have one less thing to worry about and someone dependable when shit is stressful. But I also felt like a complete fraud at all the Pride events I went to this year, and dodged questions every time I used gender neutral pronouns. Blargh blargh.

Work stuff is accelerating at a pace that is...probably exactly where I need it to be but also kind of frightening. And systems continue to be not where they need to be. Bleeeeeeh.

also uh i turn 28 in a few days so that's a thing

okay back to (an honestly mediocre this time) Summer Games Done Quick and Gunpla now (yes I am still working on that Ez8, lolsigh forever)


fandomonymous: Gray @ on black background (Default)

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