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  • I actually don't think I'm lactose intolerant, or if I am, not very sensitive to it. Cheese and yogurt is fine, thankfully.
  • Fuck this weather, though, and fuck dealing with this huge intimidating house and my mother's need to vent without my father around. My skin hates me right now, I'm exhausted way too easily, and so many things just feel so awful. It is a temporary thing, but that doesn't necessarily make it easy.
  • Still not good at reaching out to people, and there's a degree to which it's currently shooting me in the foot. There's some relationship building work I really want and need to do in person, because I'm bad at communicating, but getting them in person is hard because I haven't been investing not-in-person. Uuuuuuuugh.
  • Also I haven't gotten laid since before the blizzard, which isn't that long, but still, this is (one of my) space(s) to whine about such things. I had a chance for a one off drunken hookup after a Bayern game, but decided I felt too objectified to go through with it. Sigh. Lately (as in this season), me going out to watch Bayern games ends in regrettable makeouts, probably because great German beer is a hell of a drug and I only ever go when I'm feeling kind of emotionally vulnerable anyway. The kinds of people who go out to watch soccer games at ridiculous hours tend not to have much else in common with me, and the kind of people I usually like hanging out with don't usually want to watch soccer games at ridiculous hours, which doesn't help.
  • I'm sorta compensating for all of this socializing bullshit by attempting a few first dates or date-like things with new folks and like. I'm meeting interesting people, but each time there's a few dealbreakers, and I feel no physical chemistry though there's at least some emotional connection? Though this could be because I keep scheduling dates right after work...
  • ...and work right now is kind of brutal, so I'm pretty exhausted by it, on top of everything else going on. It's just This One Project, but This One Project is uniquely maddening this year on top of all the reasons it's usually completely ridiculous. If I stay three years to get past all the major tech changes happening through the hospital, then I'm sure this thing will be a hell of a lot easier in the future, but right now? *incoherent, exhausted keyboard smashing*
  • And of course, because work and socializing is Really Hard Right Now, I'm not putting much effort into my hobbies, and taking shortcuts to self care (ordering out instead of bringing lunch from home, lots of snacking). Not great for long term saving goals, but bleeeeeeeeh.
  • Move is still happening though!!! Probably in May, which is a hell of a lot easier to handle than April. Finding all the financial documentation from my years of bullshit is really fucking hard, though. D:
  • IRDC New York at NYU is going through, probably August but maybe June? You should vote for what dates work for you if you wanna come!
  • I'm low level considering taking notes on my IBO and ethical polyamory feelings and turning them into something I could maybe sell on a larger blog, something like The Mary Sue. It's effort, but maybe effort worth making? In which case I might save writing it until the end of the series, because I want to see if one particular relationship develops. Hmm hmm.


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