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I preface all this with "my parents have been out of town for most of this month". Which has been weird and stressful, this is a lot of house, but also really relaxing and wonderful in other ways.

My weekends in January:

  • a snow day + a PartnerBeast day in Brooklyn, which I was probably too depressed to really appreciate

  • PartnerBeast coming over to my place with my parents out, which was weird and kind of stressful because I give myself high expectations as a host, apparently! Plus St. Marks with Jess for “Universe Unrobed”, a showcase of fashion and other art themed on the astronomy work of a particular physicist at Pratt. It was a strange experience but I'm glad I had it.

  • A weekend mostly-alone where I cooked a fair bit and went to Astoria for board games. I really needed a hard reset on a lot of things, and this was an even harder time, but this was mostly good. I really like the Astoria board game group but it's really hard for me to actually go to, because public transit within Queens is the fucking worst. Which sucks, because I'm discovering I kind of like north Astoria? It's less immigrant-focused than most of Queens but oh my god QED is a place I could have made myself if I had more money and cared more about the art of standup comedy, and it's got its charms. Something to consider.

  • A weekend at the PartnerBeast's with lots of Spanish food. A fairly standard weekend for us, extended somewhat because I actually went to Brooklyn directly after therapy.



Finance:


  • Some unexpected expenses, mostly with losing things

  • Some extravagances for social reasons

  • A fair amount of hobby spending, though now I have more backlog than I'd like and there were a few impulse purchases

  • An embarrassing amount of snacks

  • I applied for a job! Cold call for a position equivalent to mine in a private hospital in immigrant-neighborhood Brooklyn, fingers crossed. I forget how amazing my professional-but-not-day-job network is, and how it intersects with my personal life, and I need to not forget that.

  • I applied for another job that would be really dreamy but I’m not sure if I qualify or if it's still available. Technically this was Feb 1, but I worked on the app in January, so.



Health:


  • Sanity prism go! I haven’t been monitoring but I’m probably around 80% compliant and ho wow it helps a lot but it’s also rough to have that be the first “decision” in my day. It would probably help if I also fixed my evening schedule to actually sleep. Hahahaugh.

  • Therapy is getting tough but it still helps. I can feel myself hitting certain walls that need to be knocked down, and oh my god it's so much work but it's happening.

  • There’s a piece of plastic filled with hormones in my uterus now. I screamed while it was happening but was fine within...half an hour? Less? It's cool being bionic and we'll see how it goes.

  • Good skin days and bad skin days, but mostly stable. This is probably mostly tied to sleep but also what I'm eating/drinking.

  • Not nearly enough walking and again too many snacks but it’s January. A fairly warm January, but plenty of precipitation and depression to go around.

  • A fair amount of cooking, which takes lots of effort (both in the actual doing and in the setup/breakdown, because I don't have a dishwasher) but is kind of nice to get back into. I'm messing around with tofu quite a bit and it's been fairly rewarding.



Culture


  • A lot of Overwatch, unsurprisingly, happy Lunar New Year. I'm a little disappointed about the new Mei skin revealing she's less fat than initially appearing to be, but otherwise it's pretty spectacular and mostly fun. Capture The Flag is really not well balanced and hard to get a definitive win (instead of draw) without an incredible amount of coordination, which is I guess the point.

  • A fair bit of splatting in DCSS, I don’t think I’m really improving but I need to keep trying. I want to grind on roguelikes as thoughtful self-improvement but it's so low on the priority totem pole that I really haven't been able to give it my full attention.

  • Reasons to be annoyed at Gundam: Iron-Blooded Orphans. I can whine about this for hours, and I apologize profusely to the PartnerBeast who doesn't care about Gundam but gets to listen to some of these rants.

  • Some 2064: Read Only Memories until my save got wiped :/ It's an interesting time but I'm not sure how much I feel like replaying the first few very linear chapters. I like cyberpunk and it scratches that itch in interesting ways. Of note, I made "my" pronoun "they" in the game, and it's interesting to watch characters use it out of hand. I don't think my actual primary pronoun will be "they" - I think it's more effort than it's worth given my presentation - but it's something I'm thinking about.

  • Awesome Games Done Quick, which wasn't as exciting for me this year but still had a few gems and was nice background noise.

  • Universe Unrobed, as mentioned. I have a lot to say about this, about this professor, her projects, her priorities, her presentation to the outside world. I'm still mulling it over, which is neat.

  • some of The Bulletproof Coffin. Really weird fun metafiction, particularly since I'm not super-familiar with American comics and its tropes. I hope to finish this in February.

  • The Learners, "The Book After The Cheese Monkeys". One of PartnerBeast's favorites, and it's easy to see why. A lot to think about here too, which weirdly has been tying into how I've been understanding Gundam IBO, of all the damn things.
  • Orbiting Human Circus (of the Air), a really glorious absurd fiction podcast that just finished its first season/story arc. I'm excited to see where it'll go.




    • I should meet up with some of my other friends, particularly the one who has been so so helpful with cover letter editing. I think she has earned wine.

    • Valentine’s with the PartnerBeast! I have a really cute card idea I need to execute and plans for ridiculous food in Williamsburg, and it's gonna be great.

    • Find a more accessible meetup group. Board games are an "easy" in with the structure, and supposedly there's at least one group in Forest Hills. I'd also like to find like...the queer and/or poly equivalent of a munch, where there's conversation and this shared understanding without necessarily being a place to flirt or hook up. (Though hey, if it happens, it happens!) Or maybe an actual munch. Hmm.

    • Eat fewer snacks. This is an emotional crutch that kills my body slowly and makes it hard to save up to move out. I think this will take a combination of focus and more thoughtful fidgets, or something. Hmm.

    • Find at least two (more) jobs to apply to. I've got one solid lead with another city agency and I'm digging though the listings at Idealist. Now that I've gotten lots of great feedback on my first few cover letters I have a lot more confidence for these next ones.

    • Work on polishing the professional presence online. I've done some but not a lot of sprucing up to my LinkedIn. I theoretically have two websites attached to my very unique real name that I can probably use to influence search results in small ways; I should coordinate that effort, get one to redirect to the other, and unify the personal branding (which is an "ugh" thing to think but also sort of exciting? haha what even.)

    • Track light box compliance, tie it to an AM skincare routine. It'd be neat to get a streak going on this, and it really really helps.

    • Work really hard to make therapy progress. Ugh SO MUCH WORK but you know it'll be worth it.

    • Follow up on doctor visits. I've got a followup on the IUD placement and a long, long overdue appointment with an optometrist right before President's Day.

    • Walk so much more. It helps my body and my brain and it's probably going to be above freezing for most of the month, so if it's not raining I really should.

    • Pull back on Overwatch after Lunar New Year ends, I think. It's fun but it's getting less entertaining and less social as people pull back from playing. I'll probably take like half of the invitations I get, and not initiate invitations as a default thing to do each evening.

    • More (thoughtful) roguelike play. As I said, I want to get better and be more thoughtful on this. Plus I haven't checked out a number of free patch updates that have been done to some of the commercial roguelikes I care about. I'll probably make a decision by the end of the month on whether or not to buy the NecroDancer DLC too.

    • Take a serious crack at the hobby backlog.

    • Participate in limited but even ways in the lives of people I care about, in general. Participate occasionally but thoughtfully on social media to acknowledge other people in my life beyond the immediate circle that always has contact with me. Twitter is a weird landmine for me because it's so political but also I have friends there that I don't keep in touch with otherwise - my follows probably need a really severe pruning to get down to only the ones I care about, and I should take better advantage of lists.


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