if that is its will, then.
Mar. 1st, 2012 05:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fandomonymousSo in my quest to catch up on all the anime I have been missing, I've finally gotten around to watching all of Steins;Gate. And I adore it.
It's funny, because I actually did try watching this series before - and wasn't impressed at the first few episodes, so tuned it out. My fiance chose to continue though, and absolutely loved it, which is what really made me decide to give it another chance.
The whole "Hououin Kyouma" thing is horribly annoying and looks like total madness. I realize this, and what's funny - the series itself realizes it, because by the end, it's a tool for Okabe to use completely rationally and sanely. And we witness the difference between a fake madness and the real one, we witness Okabe's feelings torn asunder, and it's heart wrenching and amazing at the same time. The flashes of the "real Okabe" we get throughout the show were a major highlight for me - he cares so much, he suffers so much, and he understands so much more than it seems. In that sense, I think Okabe is the "true" scientist - the one who wants to learn and change and expand the knowledge of society for its own sake, who cares about life and humanity and the people around him, who is gentle and kind and warm.
I'm noticing a lot of people (by this I mean reviewers and the handful of fanfic writers on FFN) were confused by the fact that while Okabe focuses on saving Mayuri, he ends up falling hard for Kurisu (and attracting a lot of unrequited crushes in the process). A lot of people wanted a Mayuri-focused ending, or just generally would rather ship Okabe with her instead of Kurisu like the canon does.
Now this may be personal bias - Okabe looks and occasionally acts a hell of a lot like an Asian version of my fiance, and I have been long-haired and striving to be a bit of an intelligent tsundere my entire life - but I shipped Okabe/Kurisu the entire time, from beginning to end. I adore her - her sass, her knowledge, her passion, her style - and I think she's the perfect foil for Okabe's occasional bouts of silliness, and understands better than anyone the extent of his care for people and the world. I always saw Mayuri as a sister figure - I don't think the plot would change at all if Mayuri and Okabe were actually related by blood, but they just happen not to be, and that's okay too.
To be honest, if I wanted to ship Okabe with anyone who isn't Kurisu, I'd actually probably pick Ruka(ko). Actually, the way the show handled Ruka's situation is extremely interesting, because it seems that Ruka is completely and totally genderqueer - equally sweet and awkward in both male and female bodies. (At first it seems that Ruka's a transfemale, but the fact that even in the Ruka-is-cisfemale timeline their first meeting is similar - with Okabe saying it doesn't matter what gender Ruka is - seems to indicate she's self conscious about looking androgynous with female parts, too.) I do wish we'd learned more about hir life and what makes ze happy beyond Okabe's existence, but what can you do?
I think the biggest thing for me about the series, more than the shipping or the handling of gender or the time travel itself - is its handle on the nature of insanity and of hope. It's a cliche by now, "stupidity is doing the same thing over and over and hoping for a different result" - but sometimes it's all it seems you can do, whether it's to save the world or just your own career (or lack thereof). And it is maddening, where everything starts to look alike, where the days start melding together, where you can't remember which instance this is anymore. That point where Okabe breaks, where he refuses to see Makise die again, only to be encouraged by Daru and Mayuri to keep on trying, to not lose hope - I think I personally needed to see that, as I leave a voicemail, as I write a cover letter for the who-freaking-knows-anymore time. Perhaps if I keep on trying, I'll find my own 1% divergence point, or perhaps even enter the Steins;Gate strand itself, towards a greater future than I can imagine.
It's funny, because I actually did try watching this series before - and wasn't impressed at the first few episodes, so tuned it out. My fiance chose to continue though, and absolutely loved it, which is what really made me decide to give it another chance.
The whole "Hououin Kyouma" thing is horribly annoying and looks like total madness. I realize this, and what's funny - the series itself realizes it, because by the end, it's a tool for Okabe to use completely rationally and sanely. And we witness the difference between a fake madness and the real one, we witness Okabe's feelings torn asunder, and it's heart wrenching and amazing at the same time. The flashes of the "real Okabe" we get throughout the show were a major highlight for me - he cares so much, he suffers so much, and he understands so much more than it seems. In that sense, I think Okabe is the "true" scientist - the one who wants to learn and change and expand the knowledge of society for its own sake, who cares about life and humanity and the people around him, who is gentle and kind and warm.
I'm noticing a lot of people (by this I mean reviewers and the handful of fanfic writers on FFN) were confused by the fact that while Okabe focuses on saving Mayuri, he ends up falling hard for Kurisu (and attracting a lot of unrequited crushes in the process). A lot of people wanted a Mayuri-focused ending, or just generally would rather ship Okabe with her instead of Kurisu like the canon does.
Now this may be personal bias - Okabe looks and occasionally acts a hell of a lot like an Asian version of my fiance, and I have been long-haired and striving to be a bit of an intelligent tsundere my entire life - but I shipped Okabe/Kurisu the entire time, from beginning to end. I adore her - her sass, her knowledge, her passion, her style - and I think she's the perfect foil for Okabe's occasional bouts of silliness, and understands better than anyone the extent of his care for people and the world. I always saw Mayuri as a sister figure - I don't think the plot would change at all if Mayuri and Okabe were actually related by blood, but they just happen not to be, and that's okay too.
To be honest, if I wanted to ship Okabe with anyone who isn't Kurisu, I'd actually probably pick Ruka(ko). Actually, the way the show handled Ruka's situation is extremely interesting, because it seems that Ruka is completely and totally genderqueer - equally sweet and awkward in both male and female bodies. (At first it seems that Ruka's a transfemale, but the fact that even in the Ruka-is-cisfemale timeline their first meeting is similar - with Okabe saying it doesn't matter what gender Ruka is - seems to indicate she's self conscious about looking androgynous with female parts, too.) I do wish we'd learned more about hir life and what makes ze happy beyond Okabe's existence, but what can you do?
I think the biggest thing for me about the series, more than the shipping or the handling of gender or the time travel itself - is its handle on the nature of insanity and of hope. It's a cliche by now, "stupidity is doing the same thing over and over and hoping for a different result" - but sometimes it's all it seems you can do, whether it's to save the world or just your own career (or lack thereof). And it is maddening, where everything starts to look alike, where the days start melding together, where you can't remember which instance this is anymore. That point where Okabe breaks, where he refuses to see Makise die again, only to be encouraged by Daru and Mayuri to keep on trying, to not lose hope - I think I personally needed to see that, as I leave a voicemail, as I write a cover letter for the who-freaking-knows-anymore time. Perhaps if I keep on trying, I'll find my own 1% divergence point, or perhaps even enter the Steins;Gate strand itself, towards a greater future than I can imagine.