as much as I can handle

[fandomonymous]

• As stated, I was *very* social this month. I can actually feel my social skills and social confidence improving from all of this "conditioning", which is remarkable. Between that and logistical prep for the trip (including some last minute panic stuff, like breaking both my laptop keyboard and my phone screen in the course of a week) I am preeeeeeeetty exhausted but I'm managing.
  
• I did, uh, drink a good deal of alcohol over the course of the month, and will drink more in the next few weeks, so that's a thing to watch out for. I really need to learn how to social without the sauce as a crutch.
  
• Stuff got rough with the PartnerBeast (and stuff got rough for the PartnerBeast in general, independent of our relationship) but I think we're both making good progress on fixing things. Some of the fixing was spending Memorial Day walking from my place in Queens to some excellent grilled fish in Brooklyn's Chinatown. We used to do a lot more huge city walks together, since last year we were training for Great Saunter; I think this Europe trip, which will hopefully be a whole lot of huge city walks in weird cities, will be good for us.
  
• Mother's Day was pretty rough, though it could have gone muuuuuuch worse. So yeah, thanks to that and {trauma elided} I'm anxious about the non-PartnerBeast parts of the trip, i.e. the family based stuff. But it's just a week, I'll make it work, and who knows, maybe my cousins will be cooler than I expected.
  
• I got to kiss someone I'd been wanting to kiss for a while now, so that's pretty excellent. I spent some good time with A as well, and the comets have been occasionally whizzing into my periphery, and in general I am feeling Pretty Dang Good about polyamory.
  
• Work is being itself? I've found data quality issues that are Really Worrisome right before I leave, because of course I have, but I'll be fine as a whole.
  
• Somewhere in the midst of this I watched a lot of RPG Limit Break, because of course I did, and man a tiny piece of me wants to get into FF6 speedrunning, because of course I do, and of course I will not actually pursue this. Womp womp.
  
• Also Steins;Gate 0 is an anime that is existing and being shown now. I am already behind and will be more behind since I doubt I'll get to watch while I'm in Europe, so no spoilers please, but I'm enjoying it so far.
  
• This is a good vegan cake! I only made the cake, no glaze. I used apple cider vinegar, some leftover French press coffee I'd made the day before, the Amazon/Whole Foods generic extra virgin olive oil and natural (not-Dutched) cocoa powder. I didn't get the flavor of oil, vinegar, nor coffee, just really good, really dark chocolate cake, with a legitimately lovely texture that I thought I'd never get from vegan cake. (I'd probably still swap the olive oil for vegetable oil, since that nuance is lost on me and I might as well use the cheaper stuff.) I think two nine inch rounds of this will be my birthday cake this year, possibly with whipped aquafaba acting as a meringue-y frosting.
  
• ...hahahahhaha my birthday party is a week after I get back from Paris and I am nowhere near ready. Oh fuck.
  
• Also, this weekend, besides all the last minute stuff that Needs To Get Done, it's both Queens Pride and Filipino Independence Day Parade and I have really solid groups that I'd want to walk with for both (a local bisexual group for Pride, a deep progressive youth group for Filipino Independence), so like. I have no idea what my Sunday will be, or if I will just spend it in an exhausted heap. Yay?
  

Hope you're well!