no clever title
Dec. 18th, 2021 10:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fandomonymousoh good lord so much happened
- it was friendsgiving and i had two parties to go to! i made a buko pie and some mac and cheese[0]. the buko pie could use some tweaks but had a lot of promise, even using premade crust. the mac and cheese was killer as it always is. i got fewer leftovers than i maybe expected but also it was great.
- i also got to see Dessa *again* with Robin, excellent; and i did a brief museum visit and a lot of very good cocktails with a mutual friend of Robin's. Let's call that guy Hare[1]; it that seems like it'll turn into something fun and maybe sexy? But not for a while, he's visiting family in Sweden.
- we're shedding even more staff at day job, which has suddenly catapulted my position in importance and technical difficulty. i don't love this, but also i do recognize i *have* these skills; but god damn does that make side gig work even harder, and make me just more tired. it also means some personal win type projects have been pushed aside, which is hard to deal with.
- god i love my work at scaffold but also i don't have the energy to put in the effort i want to, except during times of ridiculous hyperfixation. speaking of, we released SWOTS, the feedback and press has been generally good! it's been wild to occasionally drop into a discord server and see someone talking about it without knowing i'm there, and ridiculously fun to drop a "hey, producer for the game here, thanks for enjoying game!" there's some struggles here, in terms of encouraging people (mostly my boss, to be honest) to be able to stop.
- speaking of game dev, while I had a pretty small role to play for The Game Awards, Harriet had a big one - her game was publicly announced, so she can talk about it! All that happening two days after the SWOTS release uh, sure was a time to be alive and in games and it is a miracle I have energy for anything.
- it's The Holidays (tm)!
-- I put up lights and have sent a whole lot of cards, and will send more. i'm taking Gifting a bit less seriously than I have in the past but I hope my intentions come through regardless??
-- the holiday markets are back - I didn't make it to Columbus Circle, but even with two jobs managed to get to both Bryant Park and Union Square twice, which feels good. one of the Union Square trips was with a bunch of blaseball friends, and we got some cute gifts for other blaseball friends, which has been dearly appreciated. good shit.
-- I also waded through the crowds for Rockefeller Center - probably will not do that again unless I'm with someone who really wants to?? but odd nostalgia, i'm so familiar with parts of that area. and well, nintendo store is always nice, even if the stock wasn't what i really wanted. fancy lights in the darkness are still really magical.
-- reflecting, it does feel weird to not have any form of Holiday Party at either of my jobs, though I suspect there may be something small at day job closer to New Year's. Hmm.
- I'm flying to Florida literally as I type (some of) this, to see family and friends, and just...Not, after a whole lot of Doing.
-- I can theoretically do some Scaffold work, focused on archival of past work, but won't be required to. (I might, because the cash *would* be nice.)
-- I'm going to be seeing many dear friends, and hopefully also like, my best friend's children, who might now be old enough to start forming continued memories that i exist. that's...a lot. part of me going to the holiday markets in the last 2 weeks has been about picking up a nontrivial number of small local candies to hand out.
-- I'm planning to partially come out to my parents - not about poly or gender, which I think would be harder to explain, but that Harriet exists and is my anchor partner nowadays, and that my intentions in game dev are fairly serious. (And if SWOTS itself comes up, that I'm in the credits, but as Kawa, which I'll probably explain as a nom de plume.) It took...a lot of therapy and general Stuff to get to this point, and honestly I'm still really nervous, but also??? Fuck dancing around the truth, which is what i'd been doing. Fuck the feeling of like...feeling like a child around these fellow grown adults. I have done My Shit and it makes me happy, and *she* makes me happy, and I am happier and more successful than where I came from, which SHOULD be what matters.
--- Update since I wrote this draft 48 hours ago: I came out ot my dad about Harriet and the world didn't end. He's still a generalized right-wing misery generator, but hasn't said shit about The Gays {or the worse slurs he'd usually use for that phrase} since. I'll take the peace. I don't think my mom caught the gist but ah fuck it. I very quietly updated my Facebook profile to reflect an open relationship with Harriet (instead of just a blank 'open relationship' which it's quietly been for a long time and the Scaffold job. I don't feel a need to push my luck. There we go.
-- there's a lot of just...personal shit i've put off i could do while i'm on vacation. job applications, game research, trying to learn skills on my own time. Or, you know, Not. We'll see what I actually end up feeling like doing.
-- It's early days but I feel like I'm mostly spending my vacation just...not really able to focus on a lot of that big Personal Stuff. We'll see how the week shakes out though.
- Harriet and her family went through some wild Acts of Nature [cw death & destruction behind the link] recently, including multiple days without power, which made a lot of things really hard. She's thankfully okay but ... blargh. Lots to think about as we consider our future.
- Speakin of which (and all the game dev stuff earlier) - I'm planning to go to GDC. My boss at Scaffold has managed to get me a major scholarship to attend that'll cover a nontrivial amount of travel, access to the event itself, and a bunch of like, media training stuff, which is WILD. I plan to pay for the rest of the costs by working every hour at Scaffold that my body can bear, so uh, here we go.
- Aaaaand - Harriet is planning to stay with me starting in late January *through* GDC - yep, two months, give or take. It covers Valentine's Day, our anniversary, some silly kaiju themed wrestling night, and travel to GDC (which is part of why I am planning to stay for all of GDC and spend a few days just with her after it too, before we split.) this is part of why coming out to my parents is a Thing - I need to be able to explain why I can't host if they try to visit NYC in that interval. (Turns out they're planning to head to Vegas in that time period anyway, but better than continuing to dodge the truth.)
Yeah. Yeah. Looking forward to the Great Unwinding, however that ends up looking. Hope you're well.
Footnotes:
[0] Tweaks: cranked down the sugar and used a mix of brown and white for the filling on the buko pie, plus premade crusts. Scaling the mac and cheese up to use a full pound of elbows - other cheeses being asiago, cream cheese, and sharp cheddar alongside the Velveeta; add ins being spinach and caramelized onions.
[1] The fact that both of these dudes have code names that sort of reference animals, even though that's not *necessarily* where these code names come from, is hilarious to me. I'll have to think about how to code name their anchor partners too, come to think of it.
- it was friendsgiving and i had two parties to go to! i made a buko pie and some mac and cheese[0]. the buko pie could use some tweaks but had a lot of promise, even using premade crust. the mac and cheese was killer as it always is. i got fewer leftovers than i maybe expected but also it was great.
- i also got to see Dessa *again* with Robin, excellent; and i did a brief museum visit and a lot of very good cocktails with a mutual friend of Robin's. Let's call that guy Hare[1]; it that seems like it'll turn into something fun and maybe sexy? But not for a while, he's visiting family in Sweden.
- we're shedding even more staff at day job, which has suddenly catapulted my position in importance and technical difficulty. i don't love this, but also i do recognize i *have* these skills; but god damn does that make side gig work even harder, and make me just more tired. it also means some personal win type projects have been pushed aside, which is hard to deal with.
- god i love my work at scaffold but also i don't have the energy to put in the effort i want to, except during times of ridiculous hyperfixation. speaking of, we released SWOTS, the feedback and press has been generally good! it's been wild to occasionally drop into a discord server and see someone talking about it without knowing i'm there, and ridiculously fun to drop a "hey, producer for the game here, thanks for enjoying game!" there's some struggles here, in terms of encouraging people (mostly my boss, to be honest) to be able to stop.
- speaking of game dev, while I had a pretty small role to play for The Game Awards, Harriet had a big one - her game was publicly announced, so she can talk about it! All that happening two days after the SWOTS release uh, sure was a time to be alive and in games and it is a miracle I have energy for anything.
- it's The Holidays (tm)!
-- I put up lights and have sent a whole lot of cards, and will send more. i'm taking Gifting a bit less seriously than I have in the past but I hope my intentions come through regardless??
-- the holiday markets are back - I didn't make it to Columbus Circle, but even with two jobs managed to get to both Bryant Park and Union Square twice, which feels good. one of the Union Square trips was with a bunch of blaseball friends, and we got some cute gifts for other blaseball friends, which has been dearly appreciated. good shit.
-- I also waded through the crowds for Rockefeller Center - probably will not do that again unless I'm with someone who really wants to?? but odd nostalgia, i'm so familiar with parts of that area. and well, nintendo store is always nice, even if the stock wasn't what i really wanted. fancy lights in the darkness are still really magical.
-- reflecting, it does feel weird to not have any form of Holiday Party at either of my jobs, though I suspect there may be something small at day job closer to New Year's. Hmm.
- I'm flying to Florida literally as I type (some of) this, to see family and friends, and just...Not, after a whole lot of Doing.
-- I can theoretically do some Scaffold work, focused on archival of past work, but won't be required to. (I might, because the cash *would* be nice.)
-- I'm going to be seeing many dear friends, and hopefully also like, my best friend's children, who might now be old enough to start forming continued memories that i exist. that's...a lot. part of me going to the holiday markets in the last 2 weeks has been about picking up a nontrivial number of small local candies to hand out.
-- I'm planning to partially come out to my parents - not about poly or gender, which I think would be harder to explain, but that Harriet exists and is my anchor partner nowadays, and that my intentions in game dev are fairly serious. (And if SWOTS itself comes up, that I'm in the credits, but as Kawa, which I'll probably explain as a nom de plume.) It took...a lot of therapy and general Stuff to get to this point, and honestly I'm still really nervous, but also??? Fuck dancing around the truth, which is what i'd been doing. Fuck the feeling of like...feeling like a child around these fellow grown adults. I have done My Shit and it makes me happy, and *she* makes me happy, and I am happier and more successful than where I came from, which SHOULD be what matters.
--- Update since I wrote this draft 48 hours ago: I came out ot my dad about Harriet and the world didn't end. He's still a generalized right-wing misery generator, but hasn't said shit about The Gays {or the worse slurs he'd usually use for that phrase} since. I'll take the peace. I don't think my mom caught the gist but ah fuck it. I very quietly updated my Facebook profile to reflect an open relationship with Harriet (instead of just a blank 'open relationship' which it's quietly been for a long time and the Scaffold job. I don't feel a need to push my luck. There we go.
-- there's a lot of just...personal shit i've put off i could do while i'm on vacation. job applications, game research, trying to learn skills on my own time. Or, you know, Not. We'll see what I actually end up feeling like doing.
-- It's early days but I feel like I'm mostly spending my vacation just...not really able to focus on a lot of that big Personal Stuff. We'll see how the week shakes out though.
- Harriet and her family went through some wild Acts of Nature [cw death & destruction behind the link] recently, including multiple days without power, which made a lot of things really hard. She's thankfully okay but ... blargh. Lots to think about as we consider our future.
- Speakin of which (and all the game dev stuff earlier) - I'm planning to go to GDC. My boss at Scaffold has managed to get me a major scholarship to attend that'll cover a nontrivial amount of travel, access to the event itself, and a bunch of like, media training stuff, which is WILD. I plan to pay for the rest of the costs by working every hour at Scaffold that my body can bear, so uh, here we go.
- Aaaaand - Harriet is planning to stay with me starting in late January *through* GDC - yep, two months, give or take. It covers Valentine's Day, our anniversary, some silly kaiju themed wrestling night, and travel to GDC (which is part of why I am planning to stay for all of GDC and spend a few days just with her after it too, before we split.) this is part of why coming out to my parents is a Thing - I need to be able to explain why I can't host if they try to visit NYC in that interval. (Turns out they're planning to head to Vegas in that time period anyway, but better than continuing to dodge the truth.)
Yeah. Yeah. Looking forward to the Great Unwinding, however that ends up looking. Hope you're well.
Footnotes:
[0] Tweaks: cranked down the sugar and used a mix of brown and white for the filling on the buko pie, plus premade crusts. Scaling the mac and cheese up to use a full pound of elbows - other cheeses being asiago, cream cheese, and sharp cheddar alongside the Velveeta; add ins being spinach and caramelized onions.
[1] The fact that both of these dudes have code names that sort of reference animals, even though that's not *necessarily* where these code names come from, is hilarious to me. I'll have to think about how to code name their anchor partners too, come to think of it.