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Seattle day 2
Sep. 26th, 2019 11:05 pm( Read more... )
Seattle, Day 1
Sep. 25th, 2019 09:56 pmI'm going to attempt to post daily on vacation.
Why? Well, I took really serious notes on paper on my big Europe vacation last year...then promptly lost the notebook in Paris. (A big shame - it was a red Moleskine I loved to death, that I'd gotten signed by Dessa no less!) I want to record where I've been and how I'm feeling, for me if nothing else. So feel free to read or not. :)
( Read more... )
Why? Well, I took really serious notes on paper on my big Europe vacation last year...then promptly lost the notebook in Paris. (A big shame - it was a red Moleskine I loved to death, that I'd gotten signed by Dessa no less!) I want to record where I've been and how I'm feeling, for me if nothing else. So feel free to read or not. :)
( Read more... )
So sometimes I hear from people with small children about this phase in development, where numbers are understood as an array: "one, two, three, four, five, six..." They need to go through the whole array to count at all, and if distracted mid-array they get all tripped up and upset.
I'm an adult with probably an above-average number sense...in English. I'm pretty damn proud of my ability to make sense of numbers without necessarily dropping into the array. I can pretty quickly grok "hey that's five buttons" without counting up in my head.[0]
I gained my skills in English very late in toddler-hood but have them quite fluently now. (This is one reason I'm self-diagnosed as autistic-ish.) I've dabbled in a bunch of languages throughout my life but haven't gotten good at any of them. In the last two months I've taken on a fairly serious study of Tagalog. Between language study apps and bits of my childhood I've got roughly three hundred words/phrases I can recognize - so somewhat similar to an early toddler. Obviously, this includes basics of counting.[1]
I'm trying to occasionally translate my inner dialogue into Tagalog as practice. So my English brain says "Here are five buttons"; my Tagalog brain then goes "eto ang...isa-dalawa-tatlo-apat-lima ng buton".
That is to say, while my English language brain has number sense beyond array mode, my Tagalog brain is stuck in array mode. (It's better than it used to be, where my brain said 'wait, not in English' and immediately tried to count in Mandarin.) And I get it, my brain is literally searching for a thing generally given as, well, an array.
Can I as an adult get past array mode in my second language, and if so how? In related questioning, how do we train children to move past array mode in their acquisition of language and number sense in general? Is is different for multilingual children?
Are there *specific* ways I can practice to decouple the idea of numbers from the array?
Thanks in advance for contemplating this. <3
[0] In fact, I've also got a trick of internally pairing single digits both as complements of ten and complements of nine, in order to easily round tips up to the nearest dollar. (So if the bill ends in .82, my brain goes "two and eight is ten, eight and one is nine" and fills in .18. Then of course there's a separate calculation of how many dollars I'll leave behind as tip, but that's beyond the scope of this question.)
[1] For this conversation, regarding counting objects, let's only consider the 'native' Tagalog counting system: "isa, dalawa, tatlo, apat, lima, anim..." I understand that the Spanish-derived version ("uno, dos, tres, kwatro, singko, sais...") also exists and is, as far as I can tell, only used for clock time nowadays. I also understand that you can, in fact, just use English numbers because Taglish is A Thing. And maybe the answer is to just Taglish it up, but god that feels LAZY, and also not useful for understanding *others* who may or may not Taglish.
I'm an adult with probably an above-average number sense...in English. I'm pretty damn proud of my ability to make sense of numbers without necessarily dropping into the array. I can pretty quickly grok "hey that's five buttons" without counting up in my head.[0]
I gained my skills in English very late in toddler-hood but have them quite fluently now. (This is one reason I'm self-diagnosed as autistic-ish.) I've dabbled in a bunch of languages throughout my life but haven't gotten good at any of them. In the last two months I've taken on a fairly serious study of Tagalog. Between language study apps and bits of my childhood I've got roughly three hundred words/phrases I can recognize - so somewhat similar to an early toddler. Obviously, this includes basics of counting.[1]
I'm trying to occasionally translate my inner dialogue into Tagalog as practice. So my English brain says "Here are five buttons"; my Tagalog brain then goes "eto ang...isa-dalawa-tatlo-apat-lima ng buton".
That is to say, while my English language brain has number sense beyond array mode, my Tagalog brain is stuck in array mode. (It's better than it used to be, where my brain said 'wait, not in English' and immediately tried to count in Mandarin.) And I get it, my brain is literally searching for a thing generally given as, well, an array.
Can I as an adult get past array mode in my second language, and if so how? In related questioning, how do we train children to move past array mode in their acquisition of language and number sense in general? Is is different for multilingual children?
Are there *specific* ways I can practice to decouple the idea of numbers from the array?
Thanks in advance for contemplating this. <3
[0] In fact, I've also got a trick of internally pairing single digits both as complements of ten and complements of nine, in order to easily round tips up to the nearest dollar. (So if the bill ends in .82, my brain goes "two and eight is ten, eight and one is nine" and fills in .18. Then of course there's a separate calculation of how many dollars I'll leave behind as tip, but that's beyond the scope of this question.)
[1] For this conversation, regarding counting objects, let's only consider the 'native' Tagalog counting system: "isa, dalawa, tatlo, apat, lima, anim..." I understand that the Spanish-derived version ("uno, dos, tres, kwatro, singko, sais...") also exists and is, as far as I can tell, only used for clock time nowadays. I also understand that you can, in fact, just use English numbers because Taglish is A Thing. And maybe the answer is to just Taglish it up, but god that feels LAZY, and also not useful for understanding *others* who may or may not Taglish.
recipe "test": lentil and sausage stew
May. 17th, 2019 05:36 pmI have made some take on this stew enough times in my life that it's something I mostly know by feel. Considering it came out five years ago and I spent two of the years since not cooking at home, that's kind of remarkable. I'm mostly writing notes for the sake of a grocery list and a few tweaks, because I can't help it.( Read more... )
After Memorial Day (May 27), I'm taking the rest of the week to work from home. (Edit: actually, I'm also working from home the Friday before, and the call I thought I'd have that day is canceled. Woo!) I have a bunch of work phone calls and doctor's appointments, plus the usual game night and therapy, but otherwise I want to take stock in well, being at home before the madness that is my June.[0]
I need to recognize that, much like my actual PTO last December, I probably won't get all of this done. I'm hopeful I'll have a better done/not done ratio this time, that the structure of having to be awake and aware for my appointments will make me less likely to completely laze off, but who knows, I'm also kinda burnt out at work so WE'LL SEE.
( Read more... )
( Footnotes )
I need to recognize that, much like my actual PTO last December, I probably won't get all of this done. I'm hopeful I'll have a better done/not done ratio this time, that the structure of having to be awake and aware for my appointments will make me less likely to completely laze off, but who knows, I'm also kinda burnt out at work so WE'LL SEE.
( Read more... )
( Footnotes )
Really here mostly for timing/proportion guidance and consolidation. This is way too much thought on the kind of dish that I hope I can do mindlessly some day. General flavor combo from this; my old standby reference on oven roasted shrimp; Ina Garten on timing; and while we're here let Kenji Lopez-Alt blow your mind on pasta boiling. Starred ingredients are ones I need to buy tonight. I'm using cake pans for easier cleanup, because they actually fit in my sink.
* 1/2 pound cherry tomatoes
3 tbsp olive oil
2 cloves garlic
1/2 tsp oregano
1/4 tsp chili powder
salt and pepper to taste
2 oz pasta
4 oz shrimp, peeled and deveined
1/4 cup olives
* 2 tbsp Feta cheese
* a fistful of fresh basil
2 lemons
Heat oven to 400 degrees F.
Veg prep: Thinly slice garlic. (No mortar and pestle shortcuts this time, for once.) Cut tomatoes lengthwise.
Pasta: Set a solid kettle full of water to boil on high heat.
Toss together half the garlic, 1 tbsp of olive oil, half the spice, salt and pepper with the tomatoes. Toss into one cake pan on one layer and start roasting. Tomatoes will take 15-25 minutes total, until soft and bursting with delightfulness.
Thaw shrimp: run cold water over frozen shrimp for about 5 minutes, tossing occasionally, until shrimp bend easily. Pat dry.
Pasta 2: Pour boiling water onto pasta in skillet to cover, add some salt, stir immediately. Heat skillet full of pasta and water, return to boil. Stir once boiling, cover skillet, shut off heat. Regularly open it up to stir it, but otherwise leave alone for the rest of this process, 10-12 minutes.
Now toss together the rest of the garlic and spices, another tbsp of oil, salt, pepper, and the shrimp. Set as one layer in the other cake pan, start roasting. Shrimp should take less time, 6-8 minutes; just enough time to prep finishers.
Finishers: roughly chop olives and feta; tear basil off of stems.
Once roasty bits are done, toss everything, including finishers, into the skillet with the pasta, toss to coat. Olive oil and starch liquid should combine to a lush but simple sauce over it all. Finish with fresh olive oil and more salt and pepper.
* 1/2 pound cherry tomatoes
3 tbsp olive oil
2 cloves garlic
1/2 tsp oregano
1/4 tsp chili powder
salt and pepper to taste
2 oz pasta
4 oz shrimp, peeled and deveined
1/4 cup olives
* 2 tbsp Feta cheese
* a fistful of fresh basil
2 lemons
Heat oven to 400 degrees F.
Veg prep: Thinly slice garlic. (No mortar and pestle shortcuts this time, for once.) Cut tomatoes lengthwise.
Pasta: Set a solid kettle full of water to boil on high heat.
Toss together half the garlic, 1 tbsp of olive oil, half the spice, salt and pepper with the tomatoes. Toss into one cake pan on one layer and start roasting. Tomatoes will take 15-25 minutes total, until soft and bursting with delightfulness.
Thaw shrimp: run cold water over frozen shrimp for about 5 minutes, tossing occasionally, until shrimp bend easily. Pat dry.
Pasta 2: Pour boiling water onto pasta in skillet to cover, add some salt, stir immediately. Heat skillet full of pasta and water, return to boil. Stir once boiling, cover skillet, shut off heat. Regularly open it up to stir it, but otherwise leave alone for the rest of this process, 10-12 minutes.
Now toss together the rest of the garlic and spices, another tbsp of oil, salt, pepper, and the shrimp. Set as one layer in the other cake pan, start roasting. Shrimp should take less time, 6-8 minutes; just enough time to prep finishers.
Finishers: roughly chop olives and feta; tear basil off of stems.
Once roasty bits are done, toss everything, including finishers, into the skillet with the pasta, toss to coat. Olive oil and starch liquid should combine to a lush but simple sauce over it all. Finish with fresh olive oil and more salt and pepper.
recipe test: kenji's aquafaba pancakes
Apr. 16th, 2019 12:05 pmSource. Changes: halve the recipe, dairy milk over alt milk in most relevant places, skipping the lemon zest because I don't have any lemons on hand. ( Read more... )
logistical magic, 4/4 - 4/14
Apr. 4th, 2019 01:13 pmmaybe only of interest to me, but if you like excessive complexity distilled down, here you go. I don't usually use so many acronyms at the office but I'm obscuring specifics of what I do a tad.
( Read more... )
( Read more... )
further and further on
Apr. 2nd, 2019 12:10 pm- There were a lot of social things this month with mixed results, overall leaning 'good', spread across my polycule. Some of the not-so-good is about my own ability to identify and communicate what I desire. That's some stuff to unpack in a more private context than this one. The nature of connecting to people and communicating with them is a thing I have been working really hard on in therapy, and some of that work is starting to pay off, though with plenty of tears along the way.
- I marched St. Pat's for All with PFLAG and the New York Area Bisexual Network, which was a big emotional deal for me. Not a big march group but lots of people on Skillman Avenue seeing one of their neighbors with bi and pan flags waving. <3 <3 <3
- Tabletop games this month were Saga of the Icelanders, which is not the most compelling setting to me but has some potential I guess; Parsley, which I'm really into conceptually but would find super difficult to play again now that I'm 'spoiled' on the intro session; and Honey Heist, always a delight. I still want to run more Fiasco - I might actually run it publicly at Roguelike Celebration this fall, though not guaranteed! - but experimenting with systems is fine too.
- I went back on the lunch service due to spoons - it's hard to use up leftovers/go grocery shopping for one! Cooking is still fun. PartnerBeast and I have done a few enormous, crazy cooking projects on Sundays, which has been SUPER FUN. (Alison and I have cooked together too, but in a lighter, less intense way, also great.) My appetite has been changing up a bit which is weird.
- I've switched from learning Tagalog from that book previously mentioned to Transparent, a web service with some fun vocabulary learning games but also some bugs. It's free with a Queens Library card, which is nice. I've also halted Duolingo Mandarin, because trying to learn two languages at once was frying my brain a bit and I kept prioritizing Mandarin over Tagalog. It's been gratifying trying to wrap my mind around Tagalog's particle and word order flexibility, and having the sounds already (mostly) in my mouth, just learning to parse them instead of registering them as 'that's Tagalog and not for me'.
- This month has a bunch of dentist appointments, paying those taxes, and heavy work stuff, which is annoying. This month also has dropping my gender marker on my IDNYC card[0], a metamour's long overdue top surgery, a Dessa concert, and PartnerBeast's (and my mom's) birthdays.[1] So yeah!!
[0]I don't plan on getting any other gender markers changed just yet, though I do qualify for X on my birth certificate. Maybe if/when US passports allow for an X marker, I'll do the birth certificate, driver's license, and passport in one fell swoop. But IDNYC isn't really used for much other than museum memberships, so it feels like a low stress thing to change. I still don't correct people who use she/her for me except in specifically trans-centered contexts. (I also don't view myself as trans and have no desire to transition or pass as anything specific, just as a person who happened to be AFAB, shops on both sides of the arbitrary aisle, and wishes gender mattered less in society.)
[1]I have no idea what to get either of them. My mom is obviously trying to own much fewer nouns due to the move, and PartnerBeast only asked for 'an excuse, to something'. I have a handful of ideas but I'm not sure if or how I'll be able to execute them. Blah.
A hybrid of an old Good Eats recipe I swore by in college and PartnerBeast's preferred proportions, with the thyme from the first recipe swapped for rosemary because that's what I have around.
7/4 cup (1 + 3/4) hot* coffee, French pressed
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
2 cups vegetable broth
1/4 cup molasses
1/3 cup kosher salt
4 cloves garlic, mortar-and-pestled
1" fresh ginger, mortar-and-pestled
1 tbsp ground black pepper
2 tbsp Dijon mustard
4 sprigs rosemary
2-4 Center cut pork chops, sliced thick, bone on
Mix everything but the pork chops in a gallon bag while the coffee is hot, until salt dissolves and molasses mixes thoroughly. Let cool to pleasantly lukewarm, then add pork chops. Let rest between 2 to 24 hours. (Definitely not more than 24; even 12 may be pushing it, since chops aren't super thick, but you know, life gets busy.)
Remove pork chops from bag and pat dry. Heat a glug of neutral oil in a cast iron skillet on medium-high heat. Cook for five minutes, then flip. Do so again, and check internal temperature - pull at anywhere from 140 to 150 degrees Farenheit, depending on your risk tolerance.
NOW EXCESSIVELY RIDICULOUS SAUCE. Keep the skillet on medium high heat for this.
(Yes, this has to be mixed separately - the brine as is would be way too salty. Feel free to mix this up in a separate container the night you do the brine then store until the end, since it's the same ingredients in different proportions.)
1 cup coffee
6 oz molasses
2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1 tbsp Dijon mustard
2 cloves garlic, mortar and pestled
1/2" ginger, mortar and pestled
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp ground black pepper
2 sprigs rosemary
I am hoping this mix is thin enough to deglaze the pan on its own; if not, a splash of coffee, beer, broth, or vinegar (in that order of preference - don't want it too sour!) is fine to get it going before adding this sauce. Once deglazed, cook down the sauce until reduced to 1/2 cup, 12-15 minutes. Remove rosemary stems, spoon onto the pork chops, and homf.
7/4 cup (1 + 3/4) hot* coffee, French pressed
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
2 cups vegetable broth
1/4 cup molasses
1/3 cup kosher salt
4 cloves garlic, mortar-and-pestled
1" fresh ginger, mortar-and-pestled
1 tbsp ground black pepper
2 tbsp Dijon mustard
4 sprigs rosemary
2-4 Center cut pork chops, sliced thick, bone on
Mix everything but the pork chops in a gallon bag while the coffee is hot, until salt dissolves and molasses mixes thoroughly. Let cool to pleasantly lukewarm, then add pork chops. Let rest between 2 to 24 hours. (Definitely not more than 24; even 12 may be pushing it, since chops aren't super thick, but you know, life gets busy.)
Remove pork chops from bag and pat dry. Heat a glug of neutral oil in a cast iron skillet on medium-high heat. Cook for five minutes, then flip. Do so again, and check internal temperature - pull at anywhere from 140 to 150 degrees Farenheit, depending on your risk tolerance.
NOW EXCESSIVELY RIDICULOUS SAUCE. Keep the skillet on medium high heat for this.
(Yes, this has to be mixed separately - the brine as is would be way too salty. Feel free to mix this up in a separate container the night you do the brine then store until the end, since it's the same ingredients in different proportions.)
1 cup coffee
6 oz molasses
2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1 tbsp Dijon mustard
2 cloves garlic, mortar and pestled
1/2" ginger, mortar and pestled
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp ground black pepper
2 sprigs rosemary
I am hoping this mix is thin enough to deglaze the pan on its own; if not, a splash of coffee, beer, broth, or vinegar (in that order of preference - don't want it too sour!) is fine to get it going before adding this sauce. Once deglazed, cook down the sauce until reduced to 1/2 cup, 12-15 minutes. Remove rosemary stems, spoon onto the pork chops, and homf.
adulthood!
Feb. 26th, 2019 12:54 pm- My parents are selling their house in almost-the-suburbs, with an estimated moving out date of May. This is mostly a relief. I will be at that house occasionally in the next few months for the chance to swipe lots of their stuff (mostly kitchenware, but some other things too.)
- I'm doing my own taxes this year, and uh, owe nontrivially and can't find easy deductions. Haha whoops. It cuts into my desire to save lots this year, but thankfully I *can* afford it, so hey, it's what it is. This whole system is more baroque than it ought to be but whatever, live and learn, time to lower my withholdings for next year, and one less thing for my parents to control in my life.
- Work is better than it was but I still feel like I'm catching up, ugh. I ended up punting on one project, and that is increasingly looking like the right decision, though it was emotionally hard to do.
- I'm dealing with a minor illness at the moment, which is solvable but annoying. Shoutout to CityMD Jackson Heights for quick and compassionate service, though I was too chicken to pick the 'Other' gender marker on the self-check in, bleh. Also shoutout to the momo cart across the street for cheap beef momos and balep, a thick-pancake-y bread that was just right comfort food after going to a doctor's office for said thing.
- PartnerBeast stuff was rough but is getting better[0], other partners are great <3 <3 <3, poly is hard but we all keep managing.
- Game night is continuing; the MonsterHearts finale was itself and I got most of what I wanted out of it, then a Fiasco one shot that no one had the spoons for but was okay. I'm going to one in half an hour without the PartnerBeast or the other friend/play-partners-from-elsewhere going so uh we'll see what that looks like. I'm still enjoying this hobby, my enthusiasm waxes and wanes, and a part of me wants to find a different group while the rest is comfortable with this one. Who knows.
- Dance class is decently good but weekly isn't sustainable, and I'm looking forward to getting my time back. I do want to integrate music and possibly performance into my life a bit, but I'm going to keep that low priority for the time being.
- I'm low key playing Stardew Valley again and spent too much of the last long weekend on a trial of The Sims 4. (Sims games are a terrible loop for me, the way Civilization one-more-turn syndrome can be for others.) Both of those are pretty nice, but I'm definitely not taking video games as a hobby seriously the way I used to, which is Interesting (tm).
- Cooking has been going great, it's such a satisfying hobby with such good results. Due to the tax thing and some other stuff, I've decided to try halting a service I used to use where I could get, functionally, cheap-ish takeout for work lunch. I can un-halt the service if trying to bring lunch more often costs too many spoons, but I'm hopeful it won't be so bad. That's one of the big priorities moving forward, sure.
- The other is language learning - I picked up a Tagalog workbook when I picked up Connect, and have slowly started working through it. Tagalog is a strange language but it's enjoyable to use my brain in this particular way again. I've also got a small but steady Duolingo Mandarin habit going, and the languages are different enough (and my levels of understanding are different enough, and the methods of learning are different enough, and I space things out between working on each enough) that so far there haven't been many weird conflicts.
- Speaking of Connect, it wasn't an absolute tour de force but it was a fun thriller with an ending I don't love but don't not love? Some of its predictions of the future are uncomfortable, which I think I mentioned; its actual plot is decently fine; its characters are uneven in my appreciation. I dunno. Mixed recommend.
[0] Yeah, I say this a lot. Every time, I mean it; and every time, it happens again. Maybe that's just what it takes to keep up a consistent long term relationship; maybe that's a sign I'm not getting out of it what I need and should end it; god who knows. This is a thing I'm hashing through in therapy, have been for a while, and the circles will keep dancing until situations change.
Apartment Therapy: an tour of an editor's apartment
When it’s cold outside and I have the heater on and I’m piled in my bed under a bunch of colorful quilts, two cute dogs, and a great boyfriend, I’m grateful. When I’m making tea in the kitchen and the sun is streaming in and back-lighting the leaves of the pothos in there, I’m grateful. When too many friends try to fit in my small home (during the two times a year I actually invite people over)—I’m grateful. And, in the end, the fact that my home really and truly reflects me is perhaps the thing I’m most appreciative of.
This apartment is in large part Not Kawa Aesthetic At All, but some of the challenges and bones are remarkably similar (hooray, pre-war apartments!) We also both have coffee tables built by our fathers, though with rather different results, and now a part of me wants way more shelves, more pretty yellow things, more wicker baskets, and more metal storage/surface pieces.
But this quote was what struck me - gratitude for your space, gratitude for making a place your own, gratitude for building the life you want from the space you want. I've been in Kawa Arena for a year now - my lease renewed on February 1, the movers I hired to bring most things from my parents' place did their work on the 11th, the Ikea delivery that included my bedframe was on President's Day last year.[0]
The last few weeks have been hard - weather and work and social stuff have made it hard to keep up with everything, and I'm still recovering from a minor mental health crash a few weeks back. So much of me wants to just spend more time at home. New York City is wonderful, and I love exploring it and being part of its energy. But the Arena is *mine* and I love it, too. I guess I've been in the mood for expressing that gratitude, and I should find the space to do so.
[0] Yes, I'm the kind of compulsive that checked Google Calendar for those specific dates.
Signal Boost: Five languages of self-love
Feb. 11th, 2019 10:31 amI'm sure there's flaws in the 'five languages of affection' model, but every framework has flaws, and the five languages framework is one I think lots of people have run into. I hadn't thought about moving it inward until recently, and how what is internally caring and useful for some is useless for others.
I like giving acts; I like receiving touch; I appreciate but struggle with time; words can be hard to produce but have powerful effect; gifts to me are as much about their stories as their objects and that's a whole different tangle. And all this effects how I care for myself and revive myself, the 'solo' of 'solo polyamory' being not just a set of boundaries but also a set of priorities.
Stuff to chew on.
